Online Dating – Setting Up Your Profile
You will be asked for credit card information and how long to subscribe. Sign up or at least three months – it usually takes time to find someone special.
You will need a username. That can be a little difficult because most of the usual ones have been taken as the sites are so busy. Try and come up with something that reflects your personality.
You will receive more hits if you include a photo of yourself. Even better if you post a couple of photos. Choose a fairly recent picture. Trying to scan a photo can be a little tricky. Once I was so frustrated I mailed in a photo.
Filling out the basics:
Age: How honest do you have to be? Only you know the answer to that question.
Height: Well, you can’t mess with that.
Weight: Average? Above average? Full size. Queen size.
Status: That is an easy one. Widowed. Divorced. Single.
Long Distance Relationship: How far will you travel to meet the love of your life? 5 to 500 miles?
And now the fun part …
You will be asked to write 200 words to describe yourself. This can be a tough one. You might feel like saying you are feeling bitter and angry and pissed off that you have to be on a dating site writing these words. Hating an ex bastard husband that has put you into a position of baring your heart and your soul on the internet. However, that is not going to help you.
I found it easier to ask a close friend to help me with the words to describe myself. It is very difficult to describe yourself objectively. Most of us are too modest to blow our own horn.
Remember to include your interests, simple things like running, long walks with your dog, caring for a parent, make you become a real human being via the written word.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
What do YOU want from a relationship?
You will be asked what qualities you are looking for in a partner. Of course you will want to say a tall dark handsome man, with tons of money who will take me around the world and grant me my every wish. Wake up and shake your head! Dig deep and prioritize what you really want and expect in a companion. Reading some of other people’s profiles will give you some insight. They could say, moonlight walks, going out for fine dining etc but what does that really say about what qualities you admire in a man? Be truly honest and you will have more of chance of finding your Prince Charming. Say what you really feel. It can be tough doing that. Now you can post your profile.
Once you’ve posted your profile, all you have left is to sit back and wait. You may hear from one or two people who will send you a wink or a short note. You can click on their profile and send a short note back. After a few exchanges you might feel ready to meet for coffee or a drink. Do not let it go too long because feeling compatible on-line can be completely different after you meet. The proof is in the pudding…or in the meeting. The aim is not to waste each other’s time.
You might meet someone you like and not hear from them again. Do not be disheartened. You have to develop a bit of a tough skin. There will be times someone will really like you and you instinctively feel he is not Mr. Right. It is always a courteous gesture to write a short note when that happens to let the person know you won’t be seeing them again. Better that then to keep them dangling.
Darla’s Do’s and Don’ts
- Post an honest profile.
- Always respond after a date letting the person know if you won’t be seeing them again.
- Dress appropriately. Remember the importance of a first impression.
- Do NOT give out your private phone number until you have a face to face meeting and feel at ease with your date.
- When you arrange to meet for coffee buy your own beverage and then sit down.
- Do NOT speak of your ex other than to state you are divorced or widowed.
- Do NOT wait too long to meet. There are scams on-line. People can sound charming but there is nothing like seeing and assessing someone eye to eye.
- Do NOT go off the protected privacy of the dating site.
- Do NOT get discouraged or disheartened if things do not happen right away. Think of it as a job and be diligent in following up promising leads.
- Think of this as a brand new adventure. You are in the safety of your home. You are totally in control of to whom you will respond and communicate. Always remember most people are in the same boat as you trying to find someone to share their life.
Above all have FUN!